Reason #7,874 I love coming home

I get to eat Publix chicken finger subs with homer.

Breaking News!

Obviously the second I stepped off the plane in FL I ordered my chauffeur/brother to take me to my most favorite high school hangout and the most wonderful Florida chain on earth...the ale house!!! While I was there I engaged in the most enlightening conversation w/ the manager who informed me that not only is there a brand new florida ale house in long island..but there is also one in Killadelphia!!!

Jenn and I are now only a bus/train ride away from paradise.

God bless corporate america.

Sexy Can I/All About Kalen

Last night was Kalen's birthday dinner. This past Saturday was her birthday party where we gave her the best present ever--a nameplate that says "Bomber" (the name of her horse from back in the day).
Much to our pleasure, Kalen had her Bomber necklace on backwards because it was "the right way in the mirror." The restaurant we dined at was very festive and even contained a shrine to Jeff, who celebrated his birthday just this past Sunday.
After breaking out the face painting in the middle of a crowded restaurant even Leroy made an appearance...As if the night wasn't been exciting enough, it was also the eve of the epic showdown of Skeeson 9 between the Lindskee Lohans and the Monica Lewinskees. Tension was high but we had our game faces on and were ready to Roll.
And as if Kalen wasn't already showered in attention and gifts she was also awarded a gold medal just for being born.
In the end we didn't quite win. But we did get a free spatula.

Accomplishment Schmoplishment

I've said/warned it before and (sadly) I'll say it again "Tequila = I've Made a Huge Mistake." Remember how I was feeling like I needed to accomplish something? And decided that I would try to accomplish being a vegetarian for a month? I failed. A couple margaritas into the night and I completely forgot about my plan. I wouldn't have even known I'd messed up if dear Mags hadn't been kind enough to point out I'm an idiot. At least I was put in my place by a male model.

WWKD?

It finally happened, and as we all expected the Kid Rock/Lynyrd Skynyrd concert (w/ special guest Rev Run!) totally rocked. Alexis and I were joined by our own special guest star Doc.

We had such an incredible time last night that we decided to share some pointers with our fans about how important style is in the rock n' roll world. Below a simple guide:

1. Wearing a scrunchie is a nice way to sex up an outfit while still looking mature.
2. An American flag bikini can really inspire love for the U.S.A. Also, the classiest décolleté is
tie-dyed with the neck collar attached by a few threads.
3. Wearing a shirt that is longer than your shorts is an elegant way to make it look like you
aren't wearing any pants
4. Braiding your rattail demonstrates you take the time to groom your assets.
5. A Kid Rock concert tee styled to look like a Grateful Dead concert tee is pretty much as
bad-ass as you can get.

Our flawless appearances were only helped by our dancing prowess. Let it suffice to say that fist pumps, devil horns, and peace signs were thrown around with reckless abandonment while we moshed with incredible skill and grace.
In fact our moves were so impressive they caught the eye of a lovely lady we like to call "New Jersey." Click on the image below for a better look at how the love story went.


We made so many great friends at the concert we were really sad when it was over. Little did we know we hadn't even made the best mistake of the night yet. While walking out of the venue Lex asked pretty much everyone who walked by if they could help us get back to the Big Apple. Nobody wanted to help us and we were feeling pretty hurt until our knight in shining armor showed up---JOEY.
In hindsight following Joey and his friends onto a ferry to Pennsylvania might not have been the "best" idea, but we did get to spend some quality time with some quality people. And Joey did get to go to 2nd base with Alexis.
After saying our hard goodbyes we continued our adventure wandering the streets (in a state that was not the state we live in and not the state the concert was in) for hours getting increasingly lost because everyone in Philadelphia thought it would be funny to lie to us when giving directions. Thankfully we accidently ended up just a few blocks from the wonderful Kate and Haley who opened their home to us so we didn't have to sleep on the streets of Killadelphia.
So in the end we didn't make it back to New York until today, Leroy was left alone all night, and we pointlessly spent a small fortune on public transportation (cabs, trains, boats, etc.), and Doc might have impregnated New Jersey.

No Regrets.

Tomorrow's a Big Day...that almost didn't happen

This morning I was looking for the Kid Rock/Lynyrd Skynyrd concert tickets. They were nowhere to be found. Then Lex realized "Oh, I threw them out."

This story is especially awesome because it appears that there is some greater mystical connection between Alexis and the venue (the Tweeter Center in Camden, NJ). See, about five years ago we were frolicking in that glorious parking lot before a Phish show when Alexis realized she had lost her ticket. We retraced our steps and were pleased to find her ticket floating in a puddle of her own pee (it had escaped from her pocket mid-squat). If I'm not mistaken Alexis then went on to kiss that pee ticket for some wager that none of us can remember anymore (so clearly it was totally worth it).

**Update**Alexis has just released a statement: "Whatever, the usher had to touch it...and it's not even her pee."

R.I.P Flo Rida

A ceremony was held this evening in honor of my beloved Flo Rida. May he rest in peace.
As difficult as this is, I knew I had to move on...Welcome to the family, Kady McKenzie

Let the Games Begin...

Beginning today I will be a vegetarian for one month. Last night was my last steak dinner before the experiment...
See you at the shack September 17th.

Walk hard. Walk fast.

Lex is coming back to New York today so I went out to celebrate my last night of freedom before the return of the old ball & chain. I am proud to say I had the distinct pleasure of pretending to be Pearl Jam with these handsome gentlemen.


I am also proud to say I witnessed an epic power-walk off on the down & dirty streets of Brooklyn. Ladies and Gentleman, I present the unbeatable Daniel Siegel.

Things that are awesome #4

My friend Steve already shared this on his blog but I'm having so much fun on the site this rainy morning I'm spreading the love

http://www.blackcabsessions.com/sessions.php

My Girl Gets the Gold!!!!

wooooooooo Nastia Liuken beat that pain in the ass shawn Johnson and and won the woman's all around gold medal. some of you know my theories about these two girls. i know they hate each other, no matter what anyone says. beautiful, graceful, perfect nastia has come in second to that little weasel face her entire life. until now. yipeeeeeeeboohoooo shawn

Now Shawn, I suppose silver is somewhat commendable, but its only fair that nastia won, becuase if she didn't, her father/coach would beat the shit out of her...seriously.

Elana wins!!!!!

it's michael phelps.

Guess who we are

(Hint: We're not monkeys)

***comment your guesses...

A movement is born

Me and 313 other individuals who read dorky blogs can't be wrong...

Belt Clipping Rulez.

Born in the U.S.A.

Rock & Rebels Tour here we come.

I love you, brother.

I received the most wonderful email the other night:

subject: ouch

A loser with a bandanna walks into a bar. Ouch.
Recognize him?

The bandana clad boy then turned to the photographer (elana) and said, "are you taking a pic to send to my sister?"

elana then provided some extra information about the event:

elana:but the best part
it was a my space bandanna!

****elana:
in his defense, it a neighborhood place and apparently he was in an intense game of rock band
there was another loser with a bandanna as well
it doesn't make it right though

What a long strange trip its been

MMMe 2!

It's one of my favorite fruits but I only know it by its Cuban name (mamoncillo) and no one ever seems to know what I'm talking about--until today. Yes, the very same day lex was in hamburger heaven, I FOUND IT!!!!!!

heaven.

cheeseburger on the building.

cheeseburger on my shirt.

cheeseburger in my mouth.

A True NYC Masterpiece

In all my dreams I never thought I'd see this day arrive. Jeff sent me this magnificent photo of the new cheeseburger mural they painted on the Diesel offices. All my dreams have come true. Go check it out on 19th and 7th.
Update:A few months ago, Diesel put out a call for artists to submit ideas for a giant mural to be painted on the side of a building at 220 West 19th Street. It's all part of the brand's Diesel Wall initiative; they've already done similar art contests in Manchester and Zürich. The winning artist in New York is Jonathan Sandridge; his design, an abstract cheeseburger. The piece has just been painted onto the wall, and to celebrate this, Diesel is giving away free cheeseburgers tomorrow at 12:30 by the mural on 19th and Seventh Ave. (racked.com)

Announcement

My daughter and I started a blog.
here

These Cats got Skillz

Dear Mom and Dad,

I'm having the best summer ever!!! Yesterday, we went on the coolest fieldtrip to the Catskills National Park. On the way we had to stop and get some gas. Since this was bad for the environment we decided to get some friendship hemp jewelery, which is good for the environment and our souls. Before I even put my money in the vending machine I said I wanted an anklet with Puka Shells on it and then I got it! After a really nice drive we finally got 2 the Catskills. This is my counselor Kim. She is SOOOOOOO COOL. She let us listen to Christmas music on the ride even though it was August! Isn't she SOOOOOO funny?!?!

Here is a picture of me on my hike. It was really fun and Kim taught us a song from Troop Beverly Hills (I guess it was some movie that was cool when she was my age) that was really fun to sing. Isn't Kounselor Kim SOOOOO cool?!! (Don't worry, I know counselor is actually spelled with a C but its funnier like this cause Kim's name starts with a K).

After our hike we stopped at these awesome railroad tracks with really old abandoned trains on them. Don't worry, Kim made sure there were no trains coming.
Once we knew we were safe we took some really cool scenic (Kim taught me that word) pictures that Kim said would be really nice to send home to you guys.
Finally, it was time to go back to camp and cool off. Kim is SOO funny she went on the swings with all of us campers!
Also, I finally passed my swim test, here is a picture Kim took of me swimming in the lake. Don't worry that there is no one in the lifeguard stand Kim was totally watching me.Okay I G2G but don't worry I'm having the BEST time at camp. Also, can Kim come sleepover after camp?? PLEASE?!?!? Don't worry, she is SO cool and nice I know you guys will like her.

Love,
Jenn

Overheard in 52w14 #8

elana: so my work out is starting to bore me

so guess what im getting

me: ha whats your workout

elana: paula abdul cardio cheer

me: wow
r u just trying to get on the blog?

elana: why?

me: nothing

munchkin face stuffs his face.

Sam brought us a really nice steak from old homestead. Naturally, we put it in the bathtub for leroy to chow down on.

Hip Warning

I might still be a hipster because I might still be welcome at Monkey Town because I didn't go yesterday because I was celebrating this guys birthday.

We're No Longer Welcome at MonkeyTown....

"cause now we know for sure that we're not "really" hipsters...a true hipster would never make such asses out of themselves at a true hipster venue"-Kim Baskin

My question to you kim: When did we ever think we were "really" hipsters????