An Epic FAIL

today taylor swift is doing a free half hour concert outside Rockefeller center for the today show. caity and i had been planning all week to wake up at the buttcrack of dawn to get in line so we could see her and rock out. we got in line at 5:15am, there were HURRICANE LIKE downpours, and apparently people started lining up at 12:30am. we stood in the freezing cold rain for almost an hour until we realized we were way too far back in line to make it in. we looked at each other and were like, "uhhhhhhh what the F are we doing????? lets get outta here." taylor never got to see the beautiful, glittery sign caity made, but ive never been so happy to be in my warm, dry bed. hopefully there'll be some kinda miracle and i'll finally get to see her in august when her tour comes to town. third times a charm, right? goodnight/morning?....

NYC local news RULES!

so far this is what i've learned:
1. on monday, theyre closing times square and harold square down to cars and are building pedestrian plazas. (cool, right?)
2. a swarm of bees trapped poeple inside the union square gamestop.
3. a man crashed his car into a cab and a runner and then ran from the police and hid out in the basement of an upper east side building stealing a janitors uniform to try and blend in but the real janitor saw him and reported him to the po.
4. in times square, a drunk shirtless kid got on the roof of a hummerzine and started dancing and the driver got pissed and climbed up on the roof and chased him. (there is video footage)then he got arrested.
5. jerry juices pool party might get rained out tomorrow (sad face)

final conclusion: local news is most definetly my new favorite show.

i made a big mistake

It's friday night, 1:06am. I'm home because I'm trying to make sure my weirdo illness goes away for good. this time last night i was two seconds away from getting on a 6:35am flight to LA so i could go to the taylor swift (my favorite!) concert with alli and rachel. but then i called my mom and i figured now that im 25 i should make a grown up decision and not get on a germ filled plane when ive been sick for almost 2 weeks.

(photo cred:Rachel Perahia)

alli is currently having the best night of her life. perez hilton is sitting right behind her. im over being a grown up....her nyc show sold out in less than a minute. can anybody help me get a ticket?

a promise is a promise

6? years ago alli and i were bored walking around venice beach. her suggestion to cure the boredom was for me to get a tattoo. i agreed to get "lex" on my toe as long as she promised that if i die before her, even if shes like 95, she has to get "lex" on her toe too.Unfortunaley, ive been sick for over a week and im pretty positive i have come down with some crazy disease and im pretty sure im not gonna live much longer. I will be seeing a doctor tomorow, but incase i don't make it, I'm asking all of you to make sure alli follows through with her promise. it was nice knowing all of you. goodbye.

graduation day.

except for this dork, im pretty sure alli (23 years old) is now officially the youngest lawyer around. congrats law nerd.

UPDATE: from now on she would like you all to refer to her as Dr. Balick..

alli:dude, i know they dont call lawyers dr, but thats seirusly what i am. im a doctor. will u call me dr balick?

Two Butts.

(photo cred: jessica "the third butt" ghersi)
click here for a very special message from doug

Counting down the seconds to august 14th.

Like many of you, in 2007 i went to the movies one night and saw knocked up. however, probably unlike most of you, when i left the theater the first thing i said was, "i LOVE that little stoney asian chick." her name is charlyne yi and i think we should be best friends. and now she wrote her own movie that shes starring in!!! its called paper heart and it comes out august 14th.

yipeeeeee!

Fat Kid Syndrome

My Favorite butt has a very serious disease. She thinks shes a 12 year old chubby boy. If you arrive at her facbeook profile page, you will see that 80% of her photos are food related.Now I would assume most of you that dont know her are trying to picture her in your head. Well she doesn't look like what you are picturing. In fact, she is about 900 lbs lighter than what you are picturing. She happens to look like this:(six pack included)

ps: she's wearing the jersey i had intended to give a newborn baby

coupon chaos.

yesterday i was watching oprah (for a change) and she gave away a free meal at kfc for anybody who wanted. she did this because shes the best lady ever in the whole wide world. now stupid kfc seemed to have not prepared themselves for the power of the O. were in a recession morons, if you get oprah on your team and you offer free food you better be prepared to dish it out.

"I went over to our nearest KFC a few minutes ago...and chaos ensued. Despite the very visible grilled chicken behind the register, the manager told everyone with coupons to leave and that the promotion was over for the day. The people there are currently holding a sit-in and refusing to leave until they get their free chicken...or the cops are called." gothamist

im sure oprah will arrive soon and make sure everyone gets the chicken they deserve.